Lusk, Wyoming: Small Town, Big Heart

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Recently, my daughter Lindsey came across a story I wrote several years ago. The story I had penned was the retelling of an unintentional weekend spent in Lusk, Wyoming. Lindsey suggested I post the story on my blog….

A Small Town’s Big Heart

My husband, Dick*, placed the last of our duffel bags in the trunk of our car while I buckled our two children in their car seats. Lindsey was four years old, Garrett age two. The kiddos could barely contain themselves and neither could I. For weeks we had been planning a camping trip to Mount Rushmore and the time had finally arrived. It was early summer 1991 and our little family was in need of a fun weekend. The previous eighteen months had brought about many changes for us: A move from our home in Georgia to Louisiana and then another from Louisiana to Wyoming. The moves had been difficult for all of us and were especially unsettling for Lindsey and Garrett, who had been accustomed to having family live nearby.

We lived on a tight budget while in Cheyenne. After paying rent, utilities and the other basics of living, there was little money left. Frivolous purchases and leisure trips were not an option. But we had decided we could manage a three-day camping trip to the Black Hills of South Dakota. I had the budget worked out: $8.00 per day for the camp site, $40.00 for gasoline. Food, snacks and drinks we were bringing from home. Between the two of us we would have $90.00 for incidentals.

As we drove north of Cheyenne on Interstate 25, Lindsey and Garrett sang from the backseat, “We’re going to Mt. Rushmore!” The early morning drive was clear and crisp. The wide open spaces and the blue Wyoming sky were breathtaking. I remember feeling far removed from the lush green hills of Georgia, and marveled at the varied and magnificent beauty of the country we live in. Time in the car passed quickly, and when Cheyenne was two hours behind us, we turned east onto a two lane road toward Lusk, Wyoming. We weren’t far from Mount Rushmore now! We continued our eastward drive and passed thru the little town of Lusk without giving her a second thought. Yet almost as soon as we left Lusk, I noticed something. More accurately, I noticed nothing. There were no homes, stores or gas stations anywhere in our line of vision…and we could see clearly across acres of fields and pasture. We had driven several miles before I saw the first lone, rusted mailbox on the side of the road, but there was not a house in sight to go with the mailbox. I began to wonder what people did to entertain themselves. How did anyone ever get to know another person out here? I realized I hadn’t seen a school or a church building, nor had we seen another vehicle since driving thru Lusk. At that moment, I felt very isolated, as if we were the only people on Earth.

Lindsey and Garrett were getting restless so I began playing a game with them. A game we had come up with… the “Looking for a Herd of Buffalo Game”. Or as Garrett called it, “Looking for a Hurricane of Buth-A-Lo”. Just after we started the game, Dick said, “I think there’s something wrong with the car“. The words were still on his tongue when the car shivered and died. Unwilling to accept or believe our misfortune, we sat in stunned silence for a brief moment.

I spoke first, “What will we do?”
Dick said he was almost positive the timing belt had broken, and sure enough, checking beneath the hood proved he was correct. While Dick was outside the car, removing tools from the trunk, I sat inside with the kiddos and tried to maintain a positive atmosphere. For the past couple of years, it seemed even our best intentions had gone sour. This trip was solely for Lindsey and Garrett and we were about to disappoint them. I realized they were too young to remember much of what I had told them about Mt. Rushmore, but I had shown them photos and they knew they were going to see big faces of United States Presidents carved into the side of a mountain. And they were excited about sleeping in a tent.

While Dick worked under the car’s hood, I said a breath prayer that God would help us out of this predicament. Before long, Dick stepped around the car to the passenger window and told me there was nothing he could do to repair the car. He also said we would have a difficult time finding a timing belt considering our location. “I guess my only option is to start walking…but which direction should I go”? As if on cue, at that very moment, we heard a soft rumble. Soon, an eighteen-wheeled big rig truck came into view on the Eastern horizon. Before long we recognized the unmistakable blue and white of a Wal-Mart truck. My first thought was that he would probably pass us by. We were from suburban Atlanta, where truck drivers don’t stop for stranded motorists. But he did stop. And he offered us a ride back to Lusk. We told him Lusk was about forty miles in the direction we had just driven from. He told us we were correct, but that we would find nothing for sixty miles or more, if we tried to go east. “You best hop on in,” he said. The four of us piled into the cab of his big truck. Garrett was ecstatic to be riding in a big Wal-Mart truck. Lindsey was concerned about leaving our car “all by itself”. Our new friend assured Lindsey our car would be alright. “People in Wyoming are the friendliest I’ve ever seen,” he told Lindsey, and that satisfied her. Soon enough we were back in Lusk. Smooth as silk, the driver pulled the big rig to an idle stop in front of a small truck stop. As he climbed out of the truck, he said he knew the manager of the restaurant and would explain to him our situation. The driver said he knew for certain the truck stop manager wouldn’t mind if we hung around for a while. He also felt certain someone in the restaurant would know where we could get the parts needed for our car. So while Dick and the driver spoke to the manager, the kids and I sat at a table. A waitress offered us Pepsi….on the house. Before long, Dick came to our table without the driver; our friend was back on the road. Dick had good news, “There’s a kid here who has agreed to drive me to an auto parts store just over the Nebraska line. I promised to give him twenty-five dollars.” Immediately, I did the math. We would have $65.00 left. On top of that, Dick would need money to buy the timing belt. Mount Rushmore would be out of the question. I thought of Lindsey and Garrett’s disappointment and wondered how I would make it up to them.

“Ok. I guess the kids and I will wait here for you,” I said.

Dick had something of a puzzled, choked-up look on his face when he said, “You don’t have to wait here. The town has a fund for stranded motorists. A sheriff’s deputy is on his way here…right now…to take us to a motel. They will also give us vouchers for meals in a couple of the restaurants. This is unbelievable…a free motel room”.

In minutes, the deputy arrived and drove us to the motel; a very old, seldom used facility. But it was clean and welcoming. I was humbled by the kindness and generosity of the people in this little town. The deputy told me to call him when we were ready for dinner, he would send a car for the children and me so that we wouldn’t have to walk. He promised to drive by and check on us from time to time as well. Soon, Dick and his teenaged chauffeur were on their way to Nebraska and the little ones and I were settling into our room. As promised, the deputy drove by to check on us throughout the day and evening. He also gave us a ride to a restaurant in his official vehicle. Lindsey, being four-years old and aware that bad guys ride in police cars, was wide-eyed with concern. Garrett, in the meantime, was loving the adventure.

Just before nightfall, Dick returned, empty-handed. He had arrived at the Nebraska store too late. The store was closed for the evening and worse, would be closed the next two days for a holiday. Nothing, it seemed, would be open until Tuesday morning. There was nothing we could do but sit it out and wait. I had to admit, things could have been much worse. If we had to break down, Lusk was the place to do it. The kiddos were having the time of their lives, not at all bereaved over missing Mount Rushmore. We were the only occupants of the motel, so we had set up the tent in the parking lot. So to them, We Were Camping! Excitedly, they told their dad about riding in the police car and “walking a long, long way to play in the city park”.

That night, the four of us slept soundly between cool, clean sheets. The next morning, we were considering a walk to a nearby grocery for breakfast items, when someone knocked on the door. A kind man had heard of us, had heard we would be in town a little longer, and he wanted to be certain we had everything we needed. He also gave us gift certificates to his restaurant. Words were difficult, I was so overwhelmed with emotion. I choked out a thank you and sat on the side of the bed and cried tears of relief, embarrassment, thankfulness and humility. We had done nothing to deserve this kindness. God was pouring out His mercies on us thru strangers. He was answering those prayers I had whispered to Him while broken down on the side of the road.

Eventually, we made it to Mount Rushmore. But not that weekend. That weekend we had lessons to learn: Loving a Neighbor, in our case a traveler, as yourself. Being kind to others. Giving of yourself for the benefit of another. Extending kindness…and receiving it.

I’ve thought of that weekend many times during the past two decades. It still amazes me. My family experienced miracles that weekend. God places angels everywhere and He works thru them. Look carefully for them, because they don’t have wings and a halo. Sometimes they look like a truck driver. Sometimes a burly sheriff’s deputy. Another time, they may look like a truck stop cook sporting a grease covered apron.
And sometimes they look like Lusk, Wyoming.

Danita

lindsey and garrett

Letters From A Whoremonger's Wife

Reblogged from Book-alicious Mama:

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Every now and then you stumble upon a memoir that is so brutal in its honest portrayal of life, in the harshness of some people's reality, that you have to turn it into 'fiction' in order to continue. Much like Angela's Ashes or The Glass Castle, Letters From A Whoremonger's Wife is the same. Danita Clark Able has written a brutally honest memoir, the story of a family.

Read more… 290 more words

Bookaliciousmama review of Letters From A Whoremonger's Wife.

The Thing About Forgiveness

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“Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too.”
― Will Smith

One of the biggest misconceptions about forgiveness is that it says to the offender: I’m Ok with what you did. Or: You’re not responsible for what you did to me. We think somehow that forgiving a perpetrator is letting them ‘off the hook’; that we are surrendering to the offender. Not true. Saying I Forgive doesn’t indicate a willingness to be misled again. It isn’t saying: I want that person in my life again. Forgiving someone who has wronged you or hurt you simply says: I will no longer allow hatred, anger, angst, fear and disgust tether me to the offender. I will no longer let the toxins of the offender hurt me.

Another false: The offender needs to ask for forgiveness. Wrong. The offender doesn’t have to ask for your forgiveness before for you can hand it over. And personally, I don’t feel we have to say I Forgive You directly to the offender. I think we can say it out loud in the privacy of our cars or bathrooms and that will be sufficient. Or send a text. Mail a letter. Because really, forgiving your offender is for your benefit, not his. Besides, some offenses are just too vile to consider personal contact.

Unforgiveness and bitterness can seep into your soul and strip the happiness out of your life.
Forgiveness is powerful, so, “Let it go and be amazed by what you see thru the eyes of grace”.

Book Trailer for Letters From A Whoremonger’s Wife

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Justin Israel Waggoner did an awe inspiring work in developing, creating and directing this trailer for my book, Letters From A Whoremonger’s Wife.

Garrett Able, thank you for putting your voice to your letter….Remarkable job!

Christina Alexandersen, thank you for being such a great supporter and also for suggesting Justin for this project.

Thank you to the actors, while I don’t know your names, I am very appreciative of your time.

Remembering Santa Ray

Santa Ray

I’ll never forget the first time my children visited Santa Ray at Cumberland Mall. Santa laughed a big belly.. Ho! Ho! Ho!… as Lindsey and Garrett walked away from their session with him. He smiled broadly as the kids exclaimed,”That’s him! That’s the real Santa! We saw the Real Santa, Mom! He knew Nanny and Poppy! He’s the Real One”! Santa Ray was my second cousin, and when he saw us standing in line to meet him, he decided to have a little fun. As my children approached Santa’s throne, I heard him say, “Well look who it is! It’s Lindsey and Garrett. I’ve been waiting for you two…and there’s your mommy Danita! Oh, I remember delivering toys to her house when she was a little girl. How are your Nanny Helen and Poppy Grady doing these days? Ho! Ho! Ho! I remember your Nanny Helen when she was a little girl, too! She was a rotten one every now and then! A couple of times she was so mean I wasn’t sure I would be able to leave toys for her. But she always got to acting better right before Christmas! Ho! Ho! Ho!”

Santa Ray loved family, kids and motorcycles and he loved to laugh. He’ll be missed by many, especially the moms, dads and grandparents who looked forward to sharing his special mix of mischief and merriment with their children. But none will miss him more than his family and friends, those of us who had known the big belly laugh and the contagious sense of humor long before Ray Daniel became Santa Ray.

We’ll miss you, Santa.
May you rest peacefully in the Arms of Jesus.

The Love Blueprint

I want to encourage you this Friday afternoon….if you’re struggling with the end of your marriage, or the end of a relationship of any kind, remember this: Life gets easier after the drama.

A couple of nights ago, my son and I appeared on an Atlanta TV station, discussing my book, Letters From A Whoremonger’s Wife. On the show, we didn’t focus too much on the hurt and humiliation a family experiences under the thumb of a narcissist. The show’s host guided us toward the healing aspect of forgiveness, and forgiveness is important. We didn’t really talk of the Sunday mornings we were subjected to screaming and cursing on our way to church…or the disgust we felt while we watched the man of our house…the one who spoke to us so angrily..warmly greeting and hugging church members as he handed them a church bulletin. So I want to touch on that here, today. If you’re experiencing similar scenarios in your life…if your spouse, boyfirend, girlfriend, friend…is belittling you, betraying you, bullying you, forcing you to change who you are…I encourage you to move on. A selfish, manipulative person doesn’t change…not for long anyway. Get out, forgive them and don’t waste another precious moment of your life on someone who doesn’t value the person you are.

On the show, I mentioned what I call the Love Blueprint. 1 Corinthinians 13: 4-7.

This is what love is

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Better things are ahead for you.

“There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. Yet that will be the beginning.”
Louis L’Amour

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Twanglish Lesson: Junder and Yunder (Not A Law Firm)

Reblogged from Real Southern Men:

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Twanglish Lessons is your semi-unregularly posted guide to mastering the finer points of the Official Language of the South. Remember: it's not English; it's Twanglish.

We know what you're thinking: "Where in the world have our Twanglish Lessons been these last few weeks? There are millions of Real Southerners out there whom we can't understand without your tutelage and sage wisdom."

Read more… 426 more words

A humorous bit of Southern-ness...

The Collateral Damagae of Another Whoremonger

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Be careful who you love.

This morning I heard from a friend, just before she entered a courtroom for a hearing that will change her life.

“Prayers please. I’m a mess”, she said.

I attempted encouragement, but I knew my words were inadequate. I knew what she was feeling, thinking. I also knew time, not words, would help. I felt helpless, heartbroken for her…I wanted to do something, so I offered words; knowing they would make no difference to her today.

She’s been with me all morning. I’ve seen her face every hour. Images of our history keep floating thru my thoughts: soccer games, soccer practice, scouts, school meetings, field trips, church, dances, parties. Why did her love affair with the love of her life end today? This way? Death would have been better than this. I knew the answer to my question before I asked it of myself: Because she was fooled by a lying whoremonger; a narcissist. She dedicated her life to him and their family. Their businesses. She thought of herself last; everyone else came first. None of that was enough. Not for him. It never is, not for a selfish man or woman.

She is hurting today. So are the children. Thinking of them, I was reminded of a letter my son wrote, in the days of our own life changing event. A letter my friends’ husband actually responded to. He was incredulous, unable to believe Crisco had done such things. Yet, this man was already living a similar, destructive, secretive life. But he thought he was different; he felt he would never be caught. Garrett’s letter should have been an indicator of things to come, a warning; a lesson to learn before losing the most precious, important people in the world. But he thought he was above it all, smarter than the rest. He was wrong.

Fathers, Who do you think you are?
By: Garrett Able

Written yesterday at 4:17 PM, August 4, 2009

Fathers, who do you think you are?

Who are they exactly? Dad, Father, Pops, all these names are talking about the first true hero in our lives, the first real “Man”. As kids we are always saying, “My dad can beat up your dad!!!” And the rebuttal, “Well, MY dad can lift that car and put it on your dads head!”

As kids we are so in love with our fathers. As we grow older we become more and more like our fathers because our admiration towards them is more than we can understand. It is so strong sometimes, you take on every characteristic of your dad. And to a loving father, this is the greatest sign of admiration! Of an unconditional Love that runs so deep…the jelly sandwich he made you the night before last was the most amazing bit of food you ever ate. And the one tomorrow will be better even than THAT one. What I don’t understand, is why do some wish they had a better life?

I was seven when my dad showed me his better life. Instead of doing what most dads do and leave their family, my dad was sick minded enough to take me along. Her name was Lorraine*, she lived in Pine Log, not far from my house. My “Father”, my “Hero”, would take me “fishing” but before we got to the lake we would pick up this woman from the country corner gas station. She would then join us and once we got to the lake I would take my rod and fish while my father left me. I was seven. A child. Once he had his fill of filth he would retrieve me. Tell me, ‘don’t tell mom I had a friend.” This continued for the longest time, this secret life I was forced to share with my father, all the while I was there watching, listening and hurting. I was seven years old when I became a bigger man than my father. On the way to tennis practice, we all ended up at the country corner store one evening…my mom, me, my father and Lorraine. I turned to my mom and told her, ‘this is dads’ friend”. She asked me what I meant and hell broke loose in the store when I described the relationship between my dad and this woman. In front of me, my father denied what I said. In essence calling me a liar. My father broke my mothers’ heart through me because he didn’t have the balls to tell her himself.

This happened two more times, (that I’m aware of), the most recent was two weeks ago. I am 19 years old. Except I feel like I have been 25 since I was 12. My father had a wife who would NEVER leave him. A BEAUTIFUL wife, a loving daughter, and me. His “Buddy” he called me. I am successful, smart, funny, talented, loving, compassionate towards others…but he didn’t want me enough to stay, or any of us for that matter.

The Love that ran deep has only made a scar. I am nothing like my father. At twelve I knew I didn’t want to be like him. My hero died on the beach of Lake Allatoona.

So this is to you fathers out there: If you are faithful, stay that way. You will be rewarded greatly with Love and happiness and moments where your children want to squeeze you because they love you so much. And kisses from your wife that make you melt like it’s the first kiss you ever had. You will see your children grow and look at you like, “There is Superman, he is sitting right there in front of me…across the table and he is my Dad. MY dad.” Your daughters will mold who they want to LOVE out of you!!!! You, who cuts the lawn and drinks out of the jug of milk and chokes on it when your beautiful wife comes into the kitchen and catches you. DON’T LET THAT GO!!!!!!!!!!

To those of you who are not faithful, it’s time to rethink the pros and cons. YOU WILL BE DISCOVERED!!!! YOU WILL BE UNVIELED!!!! YOU WILL BE MADE TO LEAVE!!!!! Because you are WORTHLESS!!!!!

But I do Forgive him.

If you are tagged it’s because you either already know, can help my mother deal with this, or because I think you should know.

Garrett Able

Yes…please, be careful who you love ~

That Moment You Realize a Slimy Bucket of Worms in The Ukraine is Using the Title of Your Book and Blog as a Seque to His Porn Site

That was me, yesterday morning…..

I had decided to update my LFAWW blog and post an article regarding the availability of Letters From A Whoremonger’s Wife on Nook, Kindle, Amazon, Createspace and Imagine Art Studio in Rome, Georgia. Earlier that morning I had been in contact with WordPress…(a few weeks prior I had decided not to blog on that domain any longer, so I allowed the registration to expire). I learned my domain name was still available, paid the fee and renewed the registration. Then I typed in my URL and hit Enter.

That’s when I noticed something was different about my blog page….but I was distracted with the business call I was on…not really paying close attention to the black box and red lettered words on the screen before me. My first thought was, “WordPress must have placed this warning because the word whoremonger is in the title of my blog. Hmmm, they’ve never done that before”. The word Adult stood out prominently. So did the number 18. The word Enter glared back at me. So I did. Something was wrong, definitely wrong. It wasn’t my blog site at all. Oh no. There were raunchy photos of…well, people. I quickly closed the site, thinking I had typed in the wrong address. I tried again. The same black and red box appeared on my screen. This time I paid closer attention to the warning and I didn’t click the Enter Button. I went to a different browser, thinking…I don’t know what I was thinking. I was bumfuzzled. The same thing happened on the second browser. So I contacted WordPress and spent the next several hours in email dialogue with them. Eventually, I learned that while I was registering my domain name, a sleazy jerk in the Ukraine (my description, not WP) was also registering the dot com name. And according to WordPress, he was, “just quicker on the draw” than me. What the heck? Why would he need that particular title? The title has nothing to do with his actual web page, it is simply a lead in, a seque to his sordid site.

I told Garrett about it…his comment was, “This is horrific and hysterical at the same time”. Then he began singing,(to the tune of Flo Rida’s Sometimes I Get A Good Feeling), “Oh, oh, sometimes, my book becomes a porn site…”. Whatever.

I told my friend Ben about it. He sort of chuckled and advised I could probably get the domain name back. I hope so. He also offered advice regarding the protection of my title.

As the dust of the day settled last evening, I thought of the irony. I began writing the book Letters From A Whoremonger’s Wife during my divorce in 2009. It was the first title to come to me and the only one I ever considered; because it is so fitting. I began blogging under the same title in December 2011. In writing, I was free of the ugliness my former spouse had woven into my life. He had draped a dark veil over me during my marriage… writing Letters From A Whoremonger’s Wife helped me to lift the veil and destroy it. The irony, the absurdity is this: One of the ugliest problems Dick Crisco had during our marriage was a secret addiction to pornography; porn web sites in particular. The title has come full circle, it seems.

I hope none of my readers or future readers land on the other website. But if by chance you do, please don’t click the Enter Button.

Danita

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Book Reviews of Letters From A Whoremonger’s Wife

Letters From A Whoremonger's WifeToday, Letter’s From A Whoremonger’s Wife became available on Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Letters-Whoremongers-Wife-ebook/dp/B00ATDUE72/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1356562072&sr=1-2&keywords=letters+from+a+whoremonger%27s+wife

I thought I would pass along a couple of comments from readers who have purchased and read the book in paperback.  Thank you for your continuted support.

TCZ – Amazon December 08, 2012 The book is a true story of a horrific life brought on by a quite charming and handsome man on the exterior, with plenty of demons on the inside. It is a MUST READ!

Pam B. – Facebook December 08, 2012 Danita, Unable to sleep, I have been up most of the night. I sat down and started reading your book. It is riveting. It will be a fast read for me. I would keep on reading but I have to help at a garage sale this morning. Makes me think of, “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.” Friedrich Nietzsche God Bless!!!!

<strong>Barbara M – WordPress</strong> <strong> December 13, 2012</strong> I am not finished with your book, but I had to stop and express my thoughts. I am overwhelmed at what you and your children endured. Your ex husband is a monster. He’s evil and you are brave for sharing your life with others. It must have been difficult for you to reveal your pain to the world, but know that your book is doing good already. My daughter is in an abusive relationship, from this book, she is understanding the need to get out before more damage is done.

I have great admiration for you.

Mary P, private message December 13, 2012 Received your book today. Just wanted to scan it, now I can’t put it down. Wow!! Very well written. In the chapter Carnal Discoveries – shocking. I was so sad to see you leave Cheyenne all those years ago. Now I am thankful Crisco left so that my girls were safe from him (Crisco is back in Cheyenne). I have a whole new respect for you, Danita!

<strong>Deb C, private message</strong> <strong> December 22, 2012</strong> I’m reading your book, page 59, and my breath catches in my chest and tears roll down my cheeks, my heart hurts. I am so sorry. I too am a survivor and the sting of the abuse never leaves. Men who abuse women are cowards.

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